So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
