Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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