Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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