i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
