i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Randomize
