When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize