4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
