Don't you send me to vm
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
