Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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