Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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