ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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