She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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