I don't think brook has ever known best
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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