we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize