Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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