I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
