like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just had sex on a roof
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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