I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Non-Jews are for practice
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize