I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he puts the penis in happiness.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
