Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
