did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
