So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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