Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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