just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
