can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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