never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
