we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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