i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
