to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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