I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
