Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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