I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
