Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Randomize
