nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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