it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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