why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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