Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
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