Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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