so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
