Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
