kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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