I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
