You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
