I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
