Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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