I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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