We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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