On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize