aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Holy sore nipples Batman
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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