Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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