After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
