Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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