Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
