I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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