Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
