we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
