just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize