I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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