Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
