Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
